World Spins Madly On
by yourheartsighs
Summary: After receiving pictures of Beth from Shelby, Quinn decides to take her mind off things and goes goes out drinking.


**WORLD SPINS MADLY ON**

_**SUMMARY: **__After receiving pictures of Beth from Shelby, Quinn decides to take her mind off things and goes goes out drinking._

_**DISCLAIMER**__: I do not own the character of Quinn Fabray, nor do I own any of the other Glee characters. They all belong to Ryan Murphy and FOX. If I did own Quinn, she would be treated a lot better than she is on the show. Trust._

_**DISCLAIMER 2: **__This is my first fic in quite some time, so I hope it's not that bad._

Rain could be heard from outside the walls of Yale that day. Inside, Quinn Fabray's eyes had not left the computer screen as she stared at photos of her daughter, Beth. Shelby had e-mailed Quinn photos of Beth earlier that day, and since then, Quinn had not been able to tear herself away from the screen. Beth had been growing up so fast, and she was missing every second of it. A part of her was grateful that Shelby had sent her these pictures because she got to see how beautiful her little girl was becoming. Another part of her, maybe even a bigger part of her, had resented the woman because it had just felt like a cruel taunt of the things she could and would never have.

She sucked in a breath of air and quickly closed her laptop as she furiously swiped at the tears that had fallen down her cheeks. God, she had to get out of here. The last thing she wanted was for her roommate, Zoe, to walk in on her crying. Assuming Zoe even came home tonight. Shaking her head, she grabbed her purse and rushed as quickly as she could out of her room, then out of the school. Anywhere sounded good right about now, as long as it got her away from her thoughts and these feelings.

As Quinn walked down the street, still having no idea where she was going, her eyes landed on a local bar across the street. Black Bear Saloon had been the name of the bar, and Quinn remembered going there once or twice with some friends from her Survey of Theater and Drama class.

"What the hell?" Quinn muttered to herself, shrugging her shoulders. She might as well get drunk.

The bar was unusually empty for the evening. Even for a Tuesday night, it should have been more crowded than it was now. Not so many people might be a good thing though, it meant less people to notice her, or it could be a bad thing if it made her stand out more. Considering the state she was in, she hoped that wasn't the case.

"What will it be for you tonight, sweetheart?" A gruff voice asked, taking her out of her thoughts.

"Oh, um…" Quinn stammered for a second, and than decided. "A Bloody Mary, please."

The bartender nodded. "One Bloody Mary coming right up." The man smiled at her. He was fairly cute. He had dark brown hair and green eyes, not tall, but not too short either. He would have been cuter if it wasn't for the little chinstrap he had been trying to grow, which made Quinn roll her eyes.

A couple of Bloody Mary's later, Quinn could already feel the buzz. It had helped just a little. She noticed the bartender walking up to the mic. "So who's ready for some karaoke?" he asked to a rather unenthusiastic crowd. "Come on." He had tried once more. "Any takers?" Looking around the bar, Quinn saw no one volunteering to go up there.

Quinn decided that she might as well go up. She didn't really know why. If no one had wanted to go up, however, she might as well. Rachel would be so proud right now. There was no doubt in her mind she'd probably be the first one to shoot her hand up and insist she go up.

"So, sweetheart," the bartender said, wrapping an arm around her after she had stepped on stage, "what's your name?" Quinn narrowed her eyes at the man's arm in a hard glare, but quickly pasted a smile on her face. "Lucy," she replied perkily, which Quinn silently chuckled at.

"So, Lucy, what song would you like to sing for us tonight?"

Biting her lip and pondering for only a second, Quinn told the man to surprise her and pick a song at random. The song was quite shocking. It was as though God knew she had been upset and decided to pick a song that best described her mood. Quinn sighed in annoyance and looked at the screen in front of her. She began to sing:

_Woke up and wished that I was dead_

_With an aching in my head _

_I lay motionless in bed_

_I thought of you and where you'd gone_

_and let the world spin madly on_

There wasn't a day that went by that Quinn didn't think of Beth, wondering if she was happy now with Shelby. Of course she was, Quinn knew she would not have been the mother Beth needed at the the time, and even if, in the end, she had made the best decision for everyone, it still killed her that she would not get to see Beth grow up, or see any of the milestones in her daughter's life.

_Everything that I said I'd do _

_Like make the world brand new_

_And take the time for you_

_I just got lost and slept right through the dawn _

_And the world spins madly on_

At some point during her pregnancy, Quinn had actually thought about keeping Beth, raising her with Puck, and them being a family together. It was just a silly dream. Puck had disappointed her and proved that he couldn't be loyal when she found out he was having a thing with Santana behind her back. Beth truly belonged with a stable and loving family, and while they might be loving, and Quinn couldn't deny he would make a good father, they were the furthest thing from stable.

_I let the day go by _

_I always say goodbye_

_I watch the stars from my window sill _

_The whole world is moving and I'm standing still_

Then Shelby came back like a hurricane a year later with Beth in tow. Quinn had wanted her daughter back at that point, and stopped at nothing to make sure that would happen. That had been her downfall. She had spent so much time trying to destroy Shelby, trying to make her look like a bad mother, that she had once more lost the only thing she did right in her life. The only person who would have truly loved her for who she was, and as things were moving along for everyone else, Quinn had found herself stuck, wondering if life would ever get any better.

_Woke up and wished that I was dead _

_With an aching in my head _

_I lay motionless in bed_

_The night is here and the day is gone_

_And the world spins madly on_

As the song finished up, Quinn realized that she had been crying. God, she hoped no one noticed. She quickly handed the microphone back to the bartender. She rushed to pay her bill and grab her things. There was no way she was staying there now. She just wanted to get back to her dorm room and go to bed. Zoe probably wouldn't be returning until morning anyway.


End file.
